Big fish, small tank
Most times I’ve left a job, it wasn’t due to lack of comfort.
It’s normally been a reaction to too much comfort. The optimism I brought decayed into this is how things work here.
There’s a gradient at play. If you join the right place, it’s a bigger fishtank. You might have felt like a hero in the small tank. In the bigger one, quiet competence surrounds you — and it can be unnerving.
A bigger tank isn’t one with more fish.
It’s how hard the environment pushes back when you’re wrong — the standards it holds you to.
Some big companies are small tanks.
Some small companies are very big ones.
Size and pressure aren’t the same thing.
If you haven’t made this kind of transition before, it can be especially difficult. I remember when I first joined Intercom. I’d been working at small local startups beforehand and I thought I was great. But that was a smaller tank and I hadn’t yet met with reality.
I confidently shared strong opinions in my first week and was met with quizzical looks. After a few experiences like that, I stopped volunteering ideas so readily. I turned up with more ego than I’d earned, and that didn’t land well. Over time I learned to speak differently. I sharpened my writing and softened my ego. The new tank made those changes inevitable.
It’s important to understand the tank you’re in. In small tanks, polish can be mistaken for substance. A confident narrative often beats a hesitant truth. The loudest voices set direction because groups love how certainty hits.
The lesson from being shot down in meetings could be:
Well… I won’t speak then
This is wrong — if you don’t engage, the room can’t sharpen your thinking — or reveal that it lacks the ability to do so. You don’t want to be in a room where your voice never really lands.
In great rooms, over-confidence is corrected and shattered. However, when you earn it, it strengthens into something that can’t be taken away.
The difference between a big tank and a small one isn’t prestige — it’s whether the environment gives you honest resistance.
I left Intercom much more grounded but capable. More confident but with less ego. I had a team who trusted me and ownership over large parts of the Messenger. That’s exactly when I knew it was time to move again.
The friction of swimming in a bigger tank will grind down your rough edges until you shine. If you make the move, you will grow. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Eventually you’ll look around and realize the other fish aren’t so big anymore. That’s when it’s time to find a bigger tank.